Men Behaving Badly
"Bad Boys II" is a visual marvel, but strictly BYOF (Bring Your Own Fun)
by Michael Sean McGowan
The original Bad Boys came out in the spring of 1995 as a lark; it came at the tail end of a five-year hiatus for the Don Simpson-Jerry Bruckheimer production team. A surprise hit, it launched the careers of its spearheading-trio: Will Smith who played Miami cop/swinger Mike Lowery, comedian Martin Lawrence who played Lowery's bemused family-man partner Marcus Burnett, and director Michael Bay who would quickly become the symbol of the Simpson-Bruckheimer machine and the kind of high-gloss, low calorie fare they prefer. After partner Don Simpson died of a drug overdose in January of 1996, Bruckheimer and Bay would go on to make some of the highest grossing, and most critically reviled, movies of the line: 1996's The Rock, 1998's Armageddon, and 2001's blockbuster disappointment Pearl Harbor.
The biggest surprise about Bad Boys was that it was actually a decent movie. Its glass-and-steel, sunset-and-shadows direction harkened back to the days of some of the slickest works of Tony Scott (another S and B protégé), but despite its high-gloss look, the spirit of the movie rested in the hands of its two leads. Lawrence was (and still is) a funny stand-up comedian and Will Smith's humor-full charm still hadn't been let lose on screen, but Bad Boys seemed to take its cue from them. I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but Bad Boys played like the movie The Last Action Hero wanted to be: a fast-paced send-up of every ridiculous action movie cliché and convention in existence. The fact that it was able to do it in such a good looking package was gravy.
Yet, somebody did something horribly wrong with Bad Boys II. They say if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Bad Boys wasn't broke, but someone tried to fix it.
To give you an idea of everything that is right and wrong with Bad Boys II you don't have to look any further than its production values. I'll say without argument, Bad Boys II is, hands-down, the best looking action film I have yet to see (although John Woo's classics still hold close quarters). The scenes of violence and mayhem are composed, filmed, and edited with a fluidity and seamlessness that is nothing short of revolutionary. Michael Bay seemed to bring action a few steps forward into the future with Pearl Harbor, which actually had its aircraft dog fighting while skimming over the ground and squeezing between hangers rather than just twisting and turning in a reference-less blue sky. There are many scenes in this movie, including one in which Lowery and Burnett hold a shoot-out with some drug-running Rastafarians as the camera swings 360 around the whole shebang, that are hell-bent on doing the old and familiar in a way we have never seen before.
This is Bad Boys II's gift. This is also its curse. As I said, I'm not sure if the self-depreciating humor that made the original film so entertaining was intentional or not, however somebody must not have held it in high regard because it is completely MIA in this one. Next to The Matrix Reloaded, Bad Boys II is one of the technological marvels of any movie this summer. It is also one of the least fun. Bad Boys II is extremely heavy with a plot that couldn't hold any cred even if it hadn't been recycled time and again. Once again, there is an evil drug runner with a large mansion (can anyone say Ka-boom!?) and funny accent, car chases, shoot-outs, and the obligatory character who, in movies like this, is either A) female or B) a family member, who is abducted and held hostage by the bad guys at the end, paving the way for fireworks-inspired rescue. The creativity of the film is limited to the point that this character here is both female and Burnett's DEA agent sister (yeah, right).
But what has happened to the fun? It seems to be almost illegal to have a movie that is so oppressively glossy and stylized that it even demands Lawrence and Smith tone down the very characteristics that made them stars, but this is exactly what Bay and Bruckheimer do. Whatever laughs the leads create seem to be improvised and come in during gaps where they wouldn't be overruled by the need for more explosions and splintering glass. I don't know what it must feel like to have a $75,000,000 film resting on your shoulders, but I know it can not compare to having that film stamp out the very good things that make you you. I definitely do not envy Smith or Lawrence in this regard.
Sure, there are moments styled like hip-hop sit-coms designed to be funny, but like everything else in Bad Boys II they seem to be agreed and decided upon by committee. Take the curious case of the villain, a Cuban drug dealer named "Johnny" Tapia (Jordi Molla). In one scene, we see Tapia, who doesn't have qualms about having associates of his rivals hacked to pieces and stuffed into wine barrels in his kitchen, dote on his cute, pudgy daughter who is trying on her first dress. This seems like a set-up loaded with possibilities. Wanna know what is done with it? Zero. On the other hand, we get one sequence where Lowery and Burnett terrorize an innocent young man who just wants to take Burnett's daughter out to the movies. Now, maybe I'm just a tad off, but wouldn't it have been far funnier to see this blood-crazy bad guy in the same situation, scaring the pants off some little kid who wants to take his daughter out on a play date? In movies like Bad Boys II there is no inspiration, simply the appearance of it.
I could have accepted the look and style of Bad Boys II by itself if it wasn't so damned oppressive to the point that we feel like we are not watching a movie, but a really long visual for a portfolio of a director already thinking about his next project. And it doesn't laugh at itself like the first one did; it struts and wields its youth-culture attitude baton like a mace. But at its core, Bad Boys II is so cowardly and timid that it can't even shake off the overused trappings that eventually do it in. Of course any action movie has a big ending, this one complete with a mansion being turned to rubble and a car chase through an oddly unpopulated Cuban slum, but gets really stupid when the mayhem spills out at the fence line of the United States base at Guantanamo Bay, where the characters continue to shoot and blow each other up while the soldiers stand around like their trying to figure out what to do next.
Mike Clark of USA Today in his review of this movie said something particularly trenchent: that is seems as if whenever Bruckheimer's name ends up on a good movie it is almost by accident. Crimson Tide and Black Hawk Down reached superior levels seemingly in spite of his "guidance" rather than because of it. There is no small amount of animosity to go around about Bruckheimer in many film circles and with good reason: anyone who would let a movie's technical values outweigh the gifts its performers bring to the party has done something completely heinous. Bad Boys II is a crime, watching it is a punishment. C